TO BE A JEW – PART I
A Candid Look at Conversion

by

Ashirah Yosefah

 

To Be a Jew, or Not to Be a Jew?

 

I am a Jew by choice.  It was a very costly choice in every respect.  It is a choice I do not regret.  That choice brought me face to face with many obstacles and challenges before, during and after completing an Orthodox conversion under the Jerusalem Beit Din.  (One Rabbi I know will only recommend conversion in Israel if someone deems themselves to be “masochistic” – his words, not mine.)  Nonetheless, I had to (B”H, I don’t), I would do it all over again.  To be a Jew is to be the person I firmly believe the Creator of the Universe intended me to be.  However, there were fifty years of non-Jewish life lessons I needed to learn and process first.  Now I have moved beyond that half century of my existence and taken up a new identity, but as much as I have done “lech lechah” in the footsteps of Avraham, Ruth and others, I still ask myself the purpose for which Hashem brought me upon the path that He did.  Hashem does not make mistakes; therefore, my being born a Gentile was part of His plan for my life.  Why was this so?  What does it mean to me now that I am a Jew?

 

There is a popular Hebrew expression amongst Torah-observant Jews:  Lo miqrei.  It means “no coincidence”.  If you move a couple of the letters, the expression becomes Rak mi Hashem – “Only from Hashem.”  Bearing this expression in mind, one should look at the events of their life as opportunities and tests ordained or allowed by Creator of the Universe.  In response, we exercise our God-given bechirah (free will), that amazing ability that distinguishes man from the rest of Creation.  The outcome of our lives weighs largely upon the choices we make.  With every choice, we will either be drawn closer to Hashem or distance ourselves.  

 

The Ramchal, in his classic work Derech Hashem (The Way of God), explains:

 

“God’s purpose in creation was to bestow of His good to another. … Since God desired to bestow good, a partial good would not be sufficient.  The good that He bestows would have to be the ultimate good that His handiwork would accept. … His wisdom therefore decreed that the nature of this true benefaction be His giving created things the opportunity to attach themselves to Him to the greatest degree possible for them. … The purpose of all that was created was to bring into existence a creature that could derive pleasure from God’s own good, in a way that would be possible for it. ”[1]

 

It was necessary for man to be given free will in order to complete God’s purpose that His goodness would be freely given to the ultimate level desired and acceptable, individually and collectively, to this singular creature that He created with the capacity to cleave unto God.  So, man was bestowed with a unique power, that of choice.  But we do not choose where and to whom we are born.

 

In truth, there are really only two types of people in this world:  Bnei Noach and Israel.  The father of all mankind is Adam, and all mankind alive today have descended from Noach.  As time passed, it was revealed that the Creator of the Universe had chosen one family for a unique purpose.  Over 3500 years ago, He led this family out of slavery in Egypt and singled out its descendents for all time to be His representatives on earth.  He gave this nation His Torah and some weighty responsibilities to both God and to man.  Most Jews are born into these responsibilities; others choose to become Jews and take them upon themselves.

 

One of the textbooks I studied during my conversion was “To Be a Jew” by Rabbi Haim Halevy Donin.  Over past few months, HaKadosh Baruch Hu has given me occasion to ask of myself, “What does it mean to be a Jew?  What does it take to be a Jew?  What about the person who decides to become a Jew?”

 

The Torah clearly states that the sincere proselyte is to be welcomed:

 

“When a proselyte dwells among you in your land, do not harass him.  The proselyte who dwells with you shall be like a native among you, and you shall love him like yourself, for you have been aliens in the land of Egypt – I am HASHEM, your God.” (Vayikra 19:33-34, cf. Bemidar 15:15-16)

 

The Talmud tells us the Torah repeats the variously worded commandments regarding treatment of a ger (stranger or  convert) no less that 36, and others say as many as 46, times. The convert is regarded as being more susceptible to suffering harm, therefore requiring higher levels of protection. (Bava Metzia 59b)  Someone who is born Jewish is more prone to demanding their rights when wronged than the person who converts to Judaism.

 

Throughout most of its history, Judaism has actively discouraged converts.  This has been particularly true since the destruction of the Second Temple.  From this time until recent years, even the active teaching and acceptance of Bnei Noach disappeared from within Judaism for fear of yet more persecution by the state religions in the lands of Jewish exile.  To encourage conversion would have been tantamount to suicide.  Jews were, after all, murdered by thousands for resisting conversion to Christianity and Islam. 

 

There are many reasons why conversion has been, and continues to be, discouraged.  Some reasons are Halachic, some compassionate, some out of valid concerns for the Jewish community itself.  Yet, there are also hints of a different approach evident in the Talmud, as we see in the following quote:

 

“According to Rabbi Elazar, Israel was not sent into exile among the nations except for the purpose of increasing the number of converts among them.” (Pesachim 87b)   

 

Was Rabbi Elazar referring to the future return of lost and assimilated Jewish soul roots born into Gentile bodies, or was he thinking of the Righteous among the Gentiles themselves?  For Jews that have “converted out” or had a break in their maternal line of descent, conversion is the way of return.  In fact, a proper Orthodox conversion is an education in the fundamentals of Judaism that I would heartily recommend to many Jews from birth.

 

Israel is called the “Servant” of HaKadosh Baruch Hu (Yeshayahu 41:8,9; 44:1,2,21).  Jews are commanded by God to be a “light unto the nations” (Yeshayahu 42:6, 49:6), “opening eyes deprived of light” (Yeshayahu 42:7) “that My salvation may reach the ends of the earth.” (Yeshayahu 49:6)  This does not mean that everyone should become Jewish, but rather that mankind should come to understand the true nature of the Creator and abide by the Divine Laws that govern the universe He created. Mass conversion to Judaism is not the nature of the Creator’s plan.  Just as Jews have a role to play in the history of man and of nations, so do the nations of the world.  I think that Rabbis Chaim Clorfene and Yaakov Rogalsky have expressed this beautifully in the Introduction to their book, The Path of the Righteous Gentile, page 5:

“… the non-Jewish nations of the world at once have a unique and specific spiritual role in the world, one that is exceedingly exalted.  The Children of Noach are co-religionists of the Children of Israel.  Together, they are peaceful partners striving to perfect the world and thereby give God satisfaction.  By viewing himself as a Noahite, the Gentile becomes like the Jew, in that he is a member of a people whose peoplehood (not just his religion) is synonymous with its relationship to God.”

It bemuses me that becoming a Jew has equipped me in a marvelous fashion to discourage others from doing likewise.  This is not because there is any misgiving on my part.  I am becoming who I was meant to be and will, with God’s Providence, continue to do so.  However, I now understand that true concern for the welfare of the non-Jew lies behind the strictness of the Halachot requiring Rabbis discourage and outright reject (at least three times) those who come to them seeking conversion.  The closing paragraphs of this essay will illuminate this statement.

 

If a conversion process is properly administered, it is not easy to become a Jew; at least not an Orthodox Jew.  Between God, the Rabbis, and (here in Israel) bureaucratic bodies such as the Interior Ministry, it can seem like every obstacle and challenge conceivable crosses your path.  The end result is a complete emptying out and divestment of everything you once thought you knew.  This purging is necessary in order for the conversion candidate to become an empty vessel capable of receiving fresh, new understanding and a dramatically different way of approaching life.  You learn not only to act differently, but to think differently.

 

The truth is that conversion should be challenging and demanding of the candidate.  Too many “conversion programs” outside of Israel today make this process far too simple, far too short.  They do the conversion candidates a disservice.  Being a Jew is far more difficult than becoming one, as arduous as that process seems to be.

 

Once a person does complete their conversion and becomes a Jew, Rabbinic literature instructs that efforts are to be made to assist the convert’s full integration into the Jewish community.  To this end, there is a provision in Jewish Halacha that a convert need not reveal their past and that other Jews are not to inquire or remind a convert about their past.  The convert is also encouraged in Rabbinic literature not to see themselves as different from other Jews (although sometimes this is hard to avoid).  Most sincere converts live their Jewish lives with a high level of commitment to the Torah and Mitzvot.  They did not choose to be born Gentile and their past life is not something of which to be shamed or ashamed.  The path that their life took between birth and conversion was definitely the focus of Divine intervention and Providence.  Otherwise, they would never have been drawn to Judaism. 

 

If the shoresh (root) of the convert’s soul is actually Jewish (the Jewish “spark” I mentioned previously), and there are some Rabbis who teach that this is the case for every sincere convert, then Hashem is fulfilling His promise that He will cause all of Israel’s exiles to return at the proper time.  If the convert’s pre-Jewish soul was Gentile at its source, then their entry into the people and nation of Israel comes in fulfillment of the prophecy that there would be Righteous people from among the nations who would become proselytes and who would live among the Jewish people.

 

Avraham was the first “convert.”  Avraham was the first man to be called “a Hebrew.”  The nation of Yaakov’s descendents who would come to be known as Israel, and later as Jews, was not yet in existence, but they would come from Avraham’s loins.  The Torah tells us Avraham, together with his wife Sarah, made many “converts” as is referenced in Bereshith 12:5:

 

"ואת-כל-הנפש אשר עשו בהרן."

“…and all the souls they had made in Haran.”

 

Avraham and Sarah did not make converts to Judaism.  They made converts to monotheistic faith in the One True God and Creator of the Universe.  The seven Universal Torah Laws (known as the Seven Laws of Noach) were the foundational teachings that Avraham and Sarah gave over to the “converts” they made.

 

Yitro, Moshe’s father-in-law, formerly a Midianite priest, became a convert.  Ruth, the great-grandmother of David haMelech, was a convert.  Both of these individuals made a conscious choice to join the nation of Israel and worship its God.  History records that each made a significant contribution in ways small or great.  Such is the challenge and the opportunity facing each sincere convert.  Consider Onkelos, the Roman convert to Judaism (35-120 CE) who later wrote what is considered to be the most authoritative Aramaic translation and commentary on the Torah that exists.

 

Let me state clearly that it is not my intent to write a PR campaign for converts or for conversion; however, the questions I receive regarding conversion are many.  For this reason, I felt to begin this series of essays on being Jewish at the point I myself began nearly ten years ago … with the question “to be a Jew or not to be a Jew?”  B’ezrat Hashem, may this essay be of benefit to some.

 

Halacha prohibits Jews from encouraging conversion to Judaism and for good reason.  Far too many would-be converts do not realize that “faith in the God of Israel” is merely one small aspect of what is required to sincerely become a member of the Jewish nation.  Most such individuals have a very romantic frame of mind when it comes to Judaism, Jews and the Land of Israel.  This stems naturally from the love they have come to have for the Torah and their desire to better serve the One True God.  Given that the Jewish nation is the repository and guardian of God’s revelation to mankind, to feel a desire to be part of it is understandable, but such love for Hashem and desire to keep His Commandments is not sufficient to become a Jew.  Important, yes, but not sufficient.

 

In becoming an Orthodox Jew, one makes a conscious and educated decision to embrace and uphold a legal system of Halacha (religious laws) that has been determined by Rabbinic authority to be beneficial and necessary for the protection and proper observance of the Commandments of Torah.  This decision is affirmed and made public by the swearing of an oath before Hashem in the presence of a Beit Din (Rabbinical court).  From time to time, Rabbis and others here in Israel refer people to me who have asked them about conversion.  We discuss the issues the individual is facing, but when I sense that there is a lack of understanding as to the seriousness of the acceptance of Halacha, I usually recommend that the individual purchase and read an authoritative book on the Halachot of Shabbat and sincerely ask of themselves if they can truly and willing embrace these laws with joy and not misgiving.  Usually I do not hear from them again.

 

Rabbi Yoel Schwartz of Jerusalem has devoted over forty years of his life to studying and teaching the Halachic requirements of Jewish conversion.  He is a leading authority on the Seven Universal Torah Laws and on Bnei Noach.  Rabbi Schwartz teaches that for a Gentile to convert to Judaism and then to “fall back”, to turn away from observance of the Mitzvot and Halacha, is to risk serious damage to their soul.

 

In becoming a Jew, one is taking upon themselves the history of a nation:  past, present and future.  It is a nation that has been at the vortex of world affairs since its birth.  Its people have been cherished by some and despised by others, persecuted, victimized, slandered, and murdered, while at the same time contributing to mankind the majority of its scientific, medical, legal, literary, technological and cultural accomplishments and assets.  It is a nation painfully torn within itself in a struggle over its God-given Land.  It is a nation that sits today in the center of the cross-hairs of the political machinations of a “New World Order” and the physical weapons of Islamic Jihad.  It is a nation that has weathered since ancient times the stinging venom of anti-Semitism.  It is a nation that has come to feel the nagging tug of suspicion all too well as a result of the centuries-old aspirations and activities of certain religions to forcibly or subtly “convert” the Jew.  It is a nation surrounded by those intent on erasing our very existence as a people and facing the certainty of war in the not-too-distant future.

 

In becoming a Jew, one is choosing to integrate themselves into a distinctive and organic culture that you have not had the benefit of being born into.  Even non-observant Jews absorb into their very being the cultural essence of being Jewish.  It’s a bit like belonging to an exclusive “club”, with keywords and expressions common to all, and favored geographical locations that provide for much symbiotic bonding between those who have been born or have lived in these areas.  As a Jew-by-choice, no matter how hard one tries, you are always “feel” on the periphery of this cultural closeness and mutual recognition, whether you actually are or not. 

 

In summary, it is a serious thing to choose to become a Jew and faith in God is only one part of it.

 

I was asked at a Shabbat table a couple of months ago:  “You must really feel on the outside of things a lot, don’t you?  I mean, by not having been born Jewish?”  Truthfully, the gentleman was correct.  There are many times that being a Jew-by-choice is a very lonely experience; especially given that becoming a Jew necessitates a separation from family and friends.  Religious differences and/or the observance of Halacha ensure that a level of separation continues post-conversion.  By times, one can feel caught between two worlds, having cut your ties with one and having not yet managed to merge with your new world.  There are many “tensions” in the lives of the “new Jew” and often it can take up to ten years, I’m told, before a true sense of being accepted, of being “Jewish,” actually takes hold.  But such occasional feelings of displacement are offset by the existence of a community that is, in truth, very strong.  This is especially evident when Jews rally together irrespective of differences in times of trouble, such as during the war with Lebanon.  Then there are the many acts of chesed (kindness), tzedakah (charity) and rachmanis (mercy) that typify the lives of so many Jews.  There is the internal awareness of the importance of doing acts of kindness at times of illness, sorrow or need; and the importance of celebrating the Jewish holidays with simcha (joy) with family and community.  Like a crown jewel, radiant in beauty, there is the holiness and the communal family of the Shabbat table that is unique to being a Jew within a community of Jews.

 

In To Be a Jew – Part II, b’lee neder and with God’s help, I will share insights and lessons I’ve learned from my recent struggles to “firm up” my Jewish identity.