Shuvoo Newsletter
Issue 6 –
Thoughts on Ancient Times & Current Events by Ashirah Yosefah
DESERTS AND DRY SEASONS
The Judean desert
near Tekoa stretches into the horizon, a barren vista
of dried
thorns and sun-bleached
rocks, of wadis, plateaus and windswept hills.
(© Ashirah Yosefah Photo)
In our weekly Parsha readings, the Children of
Israel are now in the desert at the onset of what would become forty years of
wanderings in the wilderness, sustained solely by Hashem, until a generation
emerged that was spiritually ready to enter and take possession of Canaan, the
Land promised to Avraham and to his descendents through Ya’akov. Curiously, during conversions at recent meetings
and within the texts of some of our new articles on Shuvoo this week, analogies
comparing spiritual growth to desert (Midbar) experiences
have been frequent occurrences. Let’s
reflect a moment on Parsha Yithro
and consider that Yithro, a Midianite
priest, left all he knew and journeyed into the desert to find Moshe in search
of a true relationship with G-d.
Daniel Nakonechny, in his article “The
Worse Jew and Yithro the Non-Jew”, a new
addition this week on Shuvoo, makes the following statements:
“Yithro, the embodiment of worldly striving,
leaves the epicenter of civilization for a place of ‘unformed desolation’. He literally went from one pole to its
opposite.”
“Yithro, the embodiment of civilization, left the
epitome of civilization to go to the Midbar – an
‘unformed desolation’.
Why did Yithro go to the desert to find Moshe and
the Children of Israel? To find G-d; in the process of which Yithro
became a convert. Returning to
Daniel Nakonechy’s article:
“Perhaps we’ll never know whether Yithro came
before or after the giving of the Torah.
Perhaps we’ll never know whether it was before Har
Sinai that Yithro’s heart heard G-d’s
love that fills all creation … Or if it only was after Har
Sinai that Yithro’s heart heard
G-d’s love pouring
out for His people.
Does it matter? Does it really
matter why Yithro gave up everything? Isn’t it sufficient to know that when it came
to Torah, Yithro followed his heart?!”
Would that all our hearts would have such a desire for Torah! Yithro’s desert
excursion brings to mind one of my favorite passages of Tanach,
where Hashem addresses Israel and speaks of a future time, a time which we may
well be in or fast approaching:
“Assuredly, I will speak coaxingly to her and lead her through the
wilderness and speak to her tenderly. I
will give her her vineyards from there, and the
The JPS Tanach notes that the
Since 1948, the world has witnessed Eretz Yisrael transformed from a desert wasteland to a verdant
and productive land. The t’shuvah movement has borne witness to thousands of Jews
transforming their lives from the barrenness of separation from Torah and their
Jewish heritage into passionate and committed Torah-observant Jews, many of
whom have and are making aliyah to settle and build the Land of their
inheritance.
A Jew who has been non-observant must do t’shuvah
(repentance) to return to the fold.
Simply ask any Baal T’shuvah how difficult and
humbling a process this is and how much of a transformation is required.
Over the past decade, in particular, a phenomenon has been taking place
amongst the nations which has resulted in thousands, even hundreds of
thousands, of people leaving the Christian church and becoming Bnei Noach or identifying themselves as possible members of
the Lost Ten Tribes. During the process
of leaving Christianity and the isolation from friends and community that
usually accompanies it, these people report periods of spiritual dryness,
loneliness, confusion and despair which are accompanied by an unusual thirst
for spiritual clarity and truth … dryness and thirst … a ‘desert’ experience.
Shuvoo regularly receives emails from individuals inquiring about
conversion and about Bnei Noach. A common thread running through many of these
emails is an expression of feeling spiritually ‘dry’ and ‘isolated’, of feeling
alone and unconnected. Again, a ‘desert’
experience.
I must stress that Shuvoo does not promote or encourage conversion to
Judaism. Each individual has their own
spiritual path and identity. The Torah has
guidelines for both Jews and non-Jews when it comes to finding and attaining
their spiritual identity and roles. However, given the emails we’ve received, I
would like to comment on conversion briefly and touch on the subject of the feelings
of dryness many are experiencing.
Conversion is not an easy process and it cannot be an easy process. It is a rebirth and it needs to be a
rebirth. Just as the physical birth of a
baby is an arduous and painful process, conversion is accompanied by challenges
and struggles within and without. It is
a ‘desert’ experience in its own right, but one that is a prerequisite to the
transformation which an individual must undergo. Chazal (the Sages)
teach that a convert receives a new soul at the time of their mikveh. Receiving
this new soul is akin to a rebirth. The
convert is no longer who they were before; they are a Jew.
Someone whose father is Jewish, but the mother is not, or where there has
been any prior break in the Jewish maternal line, must convert in order to join
the people of
A candidate for conversion must be willing to let go of everything they
thought they knew about G-d, faith, religion … especially any preconceived
concepts they have about Judaism. This
is, perhaps, the most difficult part of the conversion process. Often during conversion significant material
costs are incurred, as well as financial and personal losses, but the relinquishing
of knowledge acquired over a lifetime, particularly in such personal areas as
faith and religion, is a daunting process. As time goes on, some of that previous
knowledge may be discovered to be sound, but first it must tested against the
tenants of Torah – the Torah as it was given to Moshe and taught by the Sages
for centuries. The will and the intellect of a candidate for
conversion must become pliable and malleable.
This is often the reason for the many trials and tests. They must acquire the fresh and formable mind
of a child. Torah teaches one to think in entirely new ways, with depth,
with logic, with reason … and Torah teaches one to have an inquiring mind.
A new acquaintance, who converted some time ago, articulated this
transformation of the mind with priceless clarity:
“How could I ever leave a
world that not only asks but also has the courage to confront every single
question and dilemma known to mankind?
How could I abandon people who individually have the courage to confront
every single question and dilemma known to mankind? How could I ever live where the opposite is
true?! How I could I live in a reality
that doesn't demand the same of each and every person?”
Sadly, there are religions in the world where inquiring minds are not
encouraged. Emotional stimulation is
built into the worship experience and generates a feeling of ‘connectedness’ to G-d.
An individual experiences spiritual highs which soon dissipate, necessitating
another stimulating worship experience. Those who do not attain to such
levels of spiritual stimulation may be regarded by others as not truly
‘connected’ to G-d. If one begins to
doubt their religion and question foundational doctrines, it becomes a
frightening and unsettling experience. Their motives become suspect in the eyes of
others and their minds are thrust into overdrive. They find themselves grappling with weighing
evidence, examining comparisons, using logic, intellect and reasoning … as
opposed to simply accepting the religion’s doctrines verbatim. Compared
to the emotional headiness of previous religious experiences, these people
may feel ‘spiritually dry’, like they have entered a desert place, and they
often wonder, ‘Have we lost our connection with G-d?’ A frightening thought and an uncomfortable place to be.
Paradoxically, this uncomfortable season of spiritual dryness is necessary
to provide the counter-balance required to attain balance and spiritual
clarity. It might be likened to a detoxification process as their heart,
mind and soul strive to unite and accept fresh understandings of ancient
truths. Just as a person wandering in a
desert naturally experiences physical thirst; the individual in a valley of
spiritual dryness becomes spiritually thirsty.
It is this thirst that propels them on to find the answers that quench
their inner yearning. As the Prophet Yeshayahu wrote:
“Ho, all who are thirsty, come for water, even if you have no money; come,
buy food and eat: Buy food without
money, wine and milk without cost. Why
do you spend money for what is not bread, your earnings for what does not
satisfy? Give heed to Me,
and you shall eat choice food and enjoy the richest viands. Incline your ear and come to Me; hearken, and you shall be revived.” (Isaiah 55-1-3)
The above process leads to a redefinition of one’s spiritual identity. It does not necessarily lead a non-Jew to
convert to Judaism, nor should it. The
process is, however, akin to that which Hoshea
described for the Children of Israel in relation to the
Any religion that invalidates the Torah of Hashem is necessarily
flawed. The Seven Universal Laws for all
mankind that are contained in Torah are the starting point and the measuring
stick against which all true relationship to the G-d of Israel must be
based. Whenever a religion teaches that
the Torah was done away with, it effectively absolves man of the personal
responsibility and the free choice we were each given at the time of Creation.
Moshe Chaim Luzzato, The
“Ramchal”, describes man’s essential purpose in Derech Hashem (The Way of G-d):
“God therefore decreed and arranged that
creation contain both elements of perfection and deficiency, as well as a
creature with equal access to both.
This creature would then be given the means to both acquire perfection
and avoid deficiency.” (1)
By clinging to the elements of perfection, this unique creature would make
itself resemble its Creator, at least to the degree that this is possible for
it. As a consequence, it becomes worthy
of being drawn close to G-d, to derive pleasure from His goodness.”
The “unique creature” is, of course, man and the “elements of perfection”
can only be found in Torah. The Ramchal comments further:
“Only man is placed between perfection and deficiency, with the power to
earn perfection. Man must earn this
perfection, however, through his own free will and desire. If he were compelled towards perfection, then
he would not really be the master of it.
Rather He Who compelled him would be the one
responsible, and G-d’s purpose would not be
fulfilled.” (2)
This is a bit of a contrast to religions that teach that man, who was
created in G-d’s image, is incapable to choosing good
over evil, right over wrong. The end
result of such ideology is that man declines to accept his G-d-given
responsibility and places it squarely back on G-d’s
shoulders, which is not what Hashem intended or desires.
The Torah is the instrument G-d has given us to achieve the balance that we
all need in life. It tells us what is
good and what is not and gives us the dignity and the responsibility to make
the choices that will determine our relationship with our Creator, and the
quality of our lives in this world.
Many people are now finding themselves in a desert-like season of what
seems to be dry and disconnected spirituality. For non-Jews who are
sincere in their search for Truth and who have been turning to Judaism for
answers about life, G-d and faith, there is much to learn, unlearn, and
re-learn, without even approaching the issue of conversion. For Jews who
have distanced themselves from Torah-true Judaism, or who have grown up in
environments assimilated and secular, there is likewise a huge learning curve
ahead. Quite frankly, life as a Jew is a
continual process of learning. Rebbe Nachman of Breslov taught his students that he who thinks he knows G-d
is actually furthest from Him.
Shlomo haMelech wrote,
there is a season to tear down and a season to build
up (Qoheleth 3:3). Tearing down is usually
painful and unsettling. If you have been experiencing feelings of
spiritual dryness and a lack of connection to G-d as your journey for truth
progresses, don't be afraid of it. Try to embrace it. It is a good
sign; it is a sign of progress. It could well be that you have heard the
still, small Voice that would allure His children into the Valley of Achor to speak to their heart and to teach them to respond
as the Children of Israel did when they followed the Pillar of Fire and the
Pillar of Cloud out of Egypt and into the desert.
Footnotes:
(1)
Derech Hashem (The Way of G-d),
Moshe Chaim Luzzato, pg. 39
(2) Derech Hashem (The Way of G-d), Moshe Chaim Luzzato, pg. 45